Illinois GOP gets even dumber

Who needs new sitcoms this fall when we have the Illinois Republican Party to keep us entertained?

As has been reported, some Illinois Republicans' bizarre plan to salvage their faltering Senate campaign against Barack Obama by enlisting former Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka is apparently not going forward. To be honest, as absurd as it seemed, the possibility of a Ditka candidacy did make me a little nervous. He is definitely popular, however unqualified he might be, and the possibility of another Schwarzenegger could not be ruled out.

Now that Ditka is out of the race, one would assume the Illinois GOP would just settle on some boring, low-profile pol (preferably whose last name isn't Ryan) as a sacrificial lamb and be done with it. But today comes this little gem:

Republican sources tell WMAQ that the Republican Party will now focus on two potential candidates: Jim Oberwies, who finished second in the primary for this nomination, and John Cox, who ran a couple of years ago. Both have the distinction of being multimillionaires.

But another name surfacing is that of rocker, outspoken conservative and gun-rights activist Ted Nugent.

"He grew up in Arlington Heights. He went to St. Viator High School," Cook County Republican Chair Gary Skoien told WMAQ. "He has more connection to Illinois than Hillary Clinton had to New York, and he's been a very articulate spokesperson on constitutional issues. He would be a very interesting candidate."

Nugent couldn't be reached for comment Wednesday night.

I wouldn't dispute Skoien's suggestion that Nugent would be "very interesting," but not in the way he probably hopes. Putting aside the fact that (a) he's more of a libertarian than a conservative, and (b) he doesn't, you know, live in Illinois, his, uh, colorful personality is probably not exactly what most voters are looking for in a Senate candidate (particularly conservative voters). I mean, this is the guy who I once saw on TV being interviewed by Michael Moore and claiming that he hadn't realized that the artwork on one of his album covers was depicting drug paraphernalia. (Maybe he was kidding, but either way, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to turn out the GOP base.)

I guess if this doesn't work out, they can always try to get Scott Peterson or Michael Jackson....

UPDATE: At this rate, Obama could probably run the entire campaign dressed as Spiderman and still win. Yet another candidate, this time someone probably at least slightly more credible than Ditka or Nugent, also turns out to be a disaster waiting to happen:

WASHINGTON (AP) - A potential Republican candidate for the Senate seat from Illinois - where the party's nominee withdrew over sex club allegations - engaged in ``lewd and abusive behavior'' while she served as a top official in the White House drug policy office, an internal inquiry found last year.

In front of her staff, Andrea Grubb Barthwell made repeated comments about the sexual orientation of a staff member and used a kaleidoscope to make sexually offensive gestures, according to the findings of a March 19, 2003, ``hostile workplace memorandum'' prepared by drug policy office staff. The Associated Press obtained the memorandum.

Maybe they should run somebody who's dead. It worked pretty well for Democrats in neighboring Missouri.